You’re not Alone - tales of arrgh to ahh
Me walking up a road surrounded by beauty of nature, on my own
I can’t do this…the message behind fear..
Part 2
So my passport is wending its way to me, now what?
Baby step no 7 and was to buy the ticket for the Evolve conference and the one for the flight, so given what I said in the last blog, what did I do?
Did I just do it and press confirm on the first try?
Or did I distract myself with anything else that stopped me from pressing confirm?
Erm yup you guessed it, I started faffing and distracting myself yet again.
But the difference this time is since working on me and my patterns, I know that I am doing it and why…
It’s cos I was scared of spending that amount of money 💷 💷 on me..
So what did I do?
I went off walking with my dog🐾 in nature which grounds me and literally connects me 🫶🏼 to myself so I could do some processing of thoughts 💭…
I tried to call 📞 a friend who is my eternal cheerleader (you know who you are if you’re reading this) but she wasn’t available so again I had to sit with the feelings and figure out what was at play…
What was stopping me from pressing confirm and entering my card details to process the payment?
What was it in my past that was telling me I couldn’t?
And yes that actually is a thing…generational trauma that is passed down parent to child, parent to child, parent to child over and over that you believe is part of you, but actually has nothing to do with you…it’s from someone else’s trauma…
For me, a big one is scarcity that has been passed down from my Mum and probably her Mum before..
My Mum was brought up in WWII (and her Mum in WWI) so lived through rationing, scrimping and making ends meet so it was a given that you didn’t spend anything on yourself unless you really needed it…
Was Evolve something that I needed?
No, but it was something that I really wanted to do…to prove to myself that I could do big scary things on my own and that thought needed to be reflected onto my daughter that she too could do those scary things that literally floored you and made you feel sick 🤢 to the core.
The pattern that I uncovered (with a bit of digging) is that I didn’t deserve to spend that amount of money 💷 💷 on myself…and again that’s come from my Mum’s belief in scarcity that was passed down to her.
However having sat with it for a while and feeling all the feels and letting them wash over me (like a 🌊), I realised that now was MY time.
My time to do something just for ME, to spend money on doing activities that I WANT to do, my time to focus on MY needs above everyone else and for ME to heal my inner child by nourishing my adult self.
I was actually doing this for ME!
As I pressed confirm and processed the payment, I tuned into my inner child and literally screamed, whooped and danced my way around the kitchen!!
And what was the first thing I did afterwards?
I went up to my daughter’s bedroom and told her that I had done it, I had stopped faffing and was actually going to Atlanta!
Her reply…’good on ya Mum, I knew you could do it!’
Enough said really.. 🤣
Since I’ve unlocked these patterns and am learning to deconstruct them, my daughter is doing more and faffing less (though she is still doing it). The difference is she is beginning to learn awareness and how it makes her feel - that is gold dust 🪄
Take care
Rach x
If you like what you read then…
Watch this space over the next few weeks for new and exciting plans to support you and your teenage daughter both in person and online…there’s a lot happening behind the scenes!!
However in the meantime, check out my website
Vox me on Voxer (a walkie talkie app)
Follow me on Instagram at teen.whisperer.nature
I’m also opening a slot in my diary for a Teen Whisperer 90mins Power Call where you can tell me what’s going on for you and your teenage daughter
Feel free to get in touch or book in a call to talk more.
I look forward to connecting with you and working with you, take care Rach x
