WTF Is Going On?!
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Why Your Teen’s Eye Rolls Are Actually a Cry for Help
Let’s talk about the eye roll. You know the one - your daughter barely looks up from her phone, sighs like you’ve just ruined her entire life, and then rolls her eyes so hard you wonder if they’ll get stuck or fall out of her head.
And you? You’re standing there thinking, Seriously?! What the actual?!
You’ve tried being calm. You’ve tried giving her space. You’ve tried showing her you care. But no matter what, it still feels like she’s pushing you away.
Here’s the truth: Her attitude isn’t just attitude. It’s communication.
Those eye rolls, door slams, and “UGH, whatever” moments? They’re messages. And today, we’re decoding them - physiology first.
Because when you understand what’s happening in her brain, body, and heart, all those WTF moments start to make so much more sense.
How It Shows Up: What You’re Actually Seeing in Your Teen
Sound familiar? Your daughter might be:
Snapping at you over everything
Rolling her eyes, sighing, and giving one-word answers
Completely shutting down and disappearing into her room
Doom-scrolling at 2 AM even though she swears she’s “fine”
Saying she doesn’t care about school, friendships, or anything - but deep down, she’s overwhelmed
And you? You’re left feeling:
Drained – Like no matter what you do, it’s never enough
Frustrated – Because everything you say seems to push her away
Disconnected – Like you’re losing the girl who used to tell you everything
And if this is hitting home - you’re not alone.
UK stats show:
1 in 4 teen girls struggles with anxiety
1 in 3 feels lonely even when surrounded by people
Over 40% feel overwhelmed by school, friendships, and social media pressure
So if your daughter is shutting down, lashing out, or just done with everything - you’re not imagining it. There’s something deeper happening.
What’s Really Going On? (Hint: It’s Not Just Attitude)
Most parenting advice focuses on behaviour. But behaviour is just the tip of the iceberg. What’s really going on? Her nervous system is reacting before her brain even has a chance to process.
The Brain – Stuck in Survival Mode
When your daughter is overwhelmed, her brain isn’t thinking - it’s protecting. The teenage brain doesn’t always know the difference between real danger (a threat) and perceived danger (stress, social pressure, school anxiety).
So, her nervous system flips into fight, flight, or freeze mode:
Fight – Snapping, arguing, slamming doors
Flight – Avoiding you, locking herself in her room
Freeze – Shutting down, scrolling endlessly to escape
This is why “just talk to me” doesn’t work - her brain physically can’t have a rational conversation until her nervous system calms down.
The Body – Holding All the Stress
Stress doesn’t just stay in the mind - it lives in the body.
Tense shoulders, headaches, jaw clenching – Her body is bracing for stress
Exhaustion – Even if she sleeps, her nervous system is still on alert
Restlessness – Constant fidgeting, pacing, or doom-scrolling to self-soothe
The Heart – The Real Root of It All
Here’s where it gets real - when her heart doesn’t feel connected, it sends danger signals to her brain.
“I don’t feel safe.”
“I don’t belong.”
“I have to protect myself.”
And that is what’s driving the attitude, the shutdowns and emotional outbursts.
The One Simple Tool That Changes Everything
So what can you do?
Co-Regulate First.
Before expecting her to calm down, you have to be the calm.
Instead of saying:
“Stop overreacting.”
“Why are you being like this?”
“Just talk to me.”
Try this:
Breathe before you react.
Soften your tone.
Mirror calm, not frustration.
Why? Because she takes her cues from you. When you regulate your nervous system, hers starts to settle too.
It’s not about fixing her - it’s about showing her what safety and connection feel like.
You’re Not Alone in This - and You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
When you’re raising a teenage girl, there are a lot of WTF moments.
WTF is going on with her mood today?
WTF just happened?
WTF am I supposed to do here?
But WTF isn’t just about those moments. It stands for What’s The Feeling?
Because behind every eye roll, slammed door, and moment she pulls away - there’s a feeling. And the same goes for you, too.
You are not failing. You are not imagining how hard this is. And you are not meant to do this alone.
That’s why I created The WTF Community - a space where you can be honest about the hard parts, get real strategies (instead of judgment), and finally stop feeling like you’re in this by yourself.
This isn’t a pre-written parenting programme.
It’s a real time space where we figure this out together.
What does that mean?
No pre-set content - we decide what matters most
You tell me what support you actually need
We shape this together, based on what’s happening in real life
You get direct input into the experts, topics & tools we bring in
It’s a space for mums who get it. Who’ve stood exactly where you are right now.
A place where we talk about all this stuff openly - without shame, without judgment, without pretending everything’s fine.
Because when you have people who understand, you don’t just survive - you start to feel in control again.
And because we’re starting from scratch, Founding Members get:
The lowest price it will ever be - £25/month or £250/year (2 months free!)
A front-row seat in shaping this movement
Lifetime access to exclusive perks
A 1:1 with me to help you get on top of what’s happening for your daughter right now
But doors close Wednesday 26th March at midnight.
So if you’re tired of figuring this out alone and want to build something that actually works, this is your chance.
Because connection isn’t just helpful - it’s the thing that makes all the difference.
You don’t have to do this alone. And you don’t have to keep running on empty.
Because parenting your daughter shouldn’t mean losing yourself in the process.
And if you’re not quite ready? Start with my free WTF Is Going On?! Guide - it’s packed with insights to help you decode your daughter’s behaviours today.
No matter how things feel right now, I promise - you won’t feel like this forever.
Let’s be proactive, not reactive!
We’re in this together.
Rach x
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Let’s keep whispering together - your teen is listening, even if she doesn’t always show it.
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Feel free to get in touch or book in a call to talk more.
I look forward to connecting and working with you.
