This week and for the next 8 weeks, I talk about how you can support your teen daughter during the exam season.

Now don't get too excited there, but these next few blogs are to support you so that you are better equipped to manage your teenage daughter's behaviors as there's gonna be a lot of ups and downs and roller coaster of emotions as she comes to grips with revision, exam prep, this is what I'm doing, what's happening in the future, the whole anxiety bubble about achievements, gradings, other people’s percetion to achieve and what level they're gonna get.

I'm gonna put eight weeks aside to lead you through this step by step so that you have the tools in in your pocket, whatever it is so then you can then become more connected to your teenage daughter, more connected to yourself, and have that general feeling of aha rather than gritting your teeth the whole way through and wishing it was really over.

This week I am starting with revision and how being aware of how much time is available in your daughter’s day, helps her and you to take pressure off yourselves.

Keep reading for a simple way that helps you to see the bigger picture or listen in to the podcast episode below

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So revision, the norm is to suggest two hours a day is set aside to revise, it doesn’t sound much does it? But do you know what? It’s actually a really a big ask so let me explain why.

Two hours of the day is great, is achievable, is manageable if you've got nothing else on, however our teenagers have full on days without extra revision.

So let's take a step back and let's zoom out and look at the bigger picture.

How many hours are they at school/college?

How much time do they spend travelling to/from school/college?

You could be at 9-10 hours already..

Add to that:

Downtime when they come out home - 1 hour minimum.

Downtime is great for dysregulating, decompressing, processing what happened in the day, space to go ahh and get their parasympathetic nervous system back on track. Add to that the fact that they are ravenous and need a snack to keep them going.

Homework - 2 hours minimum

Ok we’re at 11-12 hours already and they haven’t eaten or done any activities. Now can you see why 2 hours is a big ask?

Add to that:

Dinnertime - 1 hour max - maybe they help with food prep, laying the table, washing up after

Activities and going to/from these activities - 3 hours

That’s 15-16 hours

On this note the optimum amount of time for a teenager to sleep is 10 hours. Now that's a lot, and as you can see from the above timings, they won’t have space to be able to do that, which then has a knock on effect on their sleeping patterns.

The more they do in the day, the more it knocks down the amount that they sleep at night. Now, sleep is so paramount or so important to our teenagers, whether they're teenage daughters, whether they're teenage sons, it is paramount to their mental health and wellbeing. If they are knackered through doing too much one day, it affects their sleep and then has a knock on effect on what their sleep is like, the quality of their sleep, how much REM sleep they get, how much deep sleep they get.

The next day they're gonna wake up knackered, they're gonna be unable to do the things that they need to do, they're gonna be unable to focus on the activity, they're gonna be unable to manage their energy, they're gonna be able to unable to manage their emotions which then leads you into that rollercoaster of emotions yet again. And I haven't even mentioned the word hormones.

So yeah, by looking at the bigger picture, so looking at the week as a whole allows you to see where and if they can fit in any revision. It makes it so much easier to handle and manage if you can see what is happening.

So what can you do to help?

I am so glad you asked…check out the following task to give you a better understanding of where and if there are any spaces within their day to add extra revision, and if not to take that pressure of yourself and them to achieve where there isn’t space.

Tasks for this week

Get a massive piece of A3 paper or stick two pieces of A4 together, then you've got a massive piece of A3. Grid it, so do a table literally by hour, by hour by hour, from the hour they wake up to the hour they go to sleep.

Sit down together and write in all the timings of the current events in the day:

school/college

travelling to & from

downtime

homework

other activities & travelling to and from

meals

sleep

connection with friends

connection with you

connection with themselves

work whether paid or voluntary

Only then can you see where the gaps are and of there aren’t any, do not worry, take that pressure off yourselves.

Next week I will be talking about boundaries and how the above plan will help manage the above and other activities that are paramount to their mental health and wellbeing, within the scope of revision and exam prep.

Just a wee reminder that the community membership space is open for you to come and join, check out the library of resources in the membership space below by following the link below. It’s a fortnightly online call throughout the year; one on a topic of the 4 keys to Connect with your Teenage Daughter using the Disconnect to Connection roadmap and one as an open mic for whatever is going on for you with your teenage daughter right now. It’s about building a community for you and other like minded Mums, who want to explore different ways to connects tis their teen daughters, together.

If you’re interested in finding out more, and want to connect, or book in for the retreat, check out my website or click on the link below.

Alternatively if you would like to work with me either on a 1:1, with your teen daughter or as part of the community membership, check out all details via my website or click on one of the links below.

Take care

Rach x

Let’s build a community of like minded Mums, imperfectly parenting together

If you would like to find out more, check out my website

Vox me on Voxer (a walkie talkie app)

I’m on Instagram at teen.whisperer.nature

I’m also opening a slot in my diary for a Teen Whisperer 90mins Power Call where you can tell me what’s happening for your teenage daughter so click the link and book in

If you would love to reconnect with your teen daughter and have the relationship you’ve always dreamt of, check out my work - all based on the Disconnection to Connection roadmap to building a deeper relationship.

Teen Whisperer Community

New Retreat for Mums

The Ripple Effect Joint Programme with your Teen Daughter

Teen Whisperer Individual Mentoring

Feel free to get in touch or book in a call to talk more.

I look forward to connecting with you and working with you, take care Rachel x

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