Tales of my own journey of healing and recovery
Looking up at the many stars above us as part of the universe
You’ve possibly noticed or maybe not…that I’ve gone very quiet on the blogging front with regards to my recovery ❤️🩹
There is a reason…
And that’s because I feel STUCK, very STUCK …
I don’t feel like I am making progress despite having a support network around me telling me what a great job I am doing.
I feel totally *useless* as there are very few things that I can now do, that I did before my accident
Things like:
being able to move my wrist and fingers (and yes I do mean exactly that…)
being able to move my elbow without shedloads of pain
being independent (this is a MAHOOSIVE sticking point)
being able to drive
being able to work
being pain free
being able to sleep without feeling ridiculous amounts of pain
being able to do the simplest of tasks that we all take for granted until you can’t - any tasks that require two hands for example (that’s most things then…things like cutting food up, opening bottles etc)
And… the last one…being able to help other people when I can’t even help myself
I feel so absolutely friggin’ USELESS
I am trying to keep positive but it is wearing me down so much that I am now sitting here crying 😭 at night when everyone is asleep
I am so SCARED that I won’t get the use of my hand and wrist back, that this’ll be how I am forever
I feel like a FAILURE as I can’t heal ❤️🩹 myself
You name it, I am trying everything.
Things like:
cold laser
vibrating pods
Infra red heat
mind/pain coaching
mctimoney chiropractor
massage
EFT
I just feel like I have plateaued and nothing is getting my wrist to move…
I have spent WAAY too much time appearing *normal* for others sakes for whatever reason…there is nothing normal about my life right now…
Nearly 18 weeks on I am still stuck in a semi flexed position with a scar so tight that I can’t extend my wrist backwards, which according to my consultant is the position where most of our movements come from… yes that was the extent of his support bar the comment that if I can’t get it moving, I may need an mua (manipulation under anaesthetic) plus the finger surgery he has already suggested…
I don’t want this type of intervention, I want to work with my body not against it…
More surgery will knock back my recovery once again and I’ve already restarted it three times!!
This is why I have been putting all of my ENERGY into launching the coaching side of my business - the work I do with teen girls who display negative behaviours against themselves (*SH) and their Mums…
I needed to prove to myself that I CAN do this…
AND
I know it is so needed….
I know girls are crying out for this type of work ….
I know Mums are desperate for this type of SUPPORT
However…
I also now know that this is a smokescreen for me as it’s a welcome distraction from my own HEALING ❤️🩹 journey
I feel so STUCK in my own healing that I have put my heart ❤️ and soul into this work
I can now SEE that putting my work out there is a sense of PURPOSE for me as I don’t feel this in my RECOVERY ❤️🩹
OMG it’s just hit me square between the eyes 👀
This IMPORTANT work to help Mums and teen girls recognise how their behaviour cycles affect them again and again, is as much part of my journey as it is them
Until I can help MYSELF, how the frigg’ can I help anyone else?
It’s SIMPLE, I can’t… 🤦🏻♀️
My healing ❤️🩹 journey has to come from deep within, unearthing all those long standing beliefs that are holding me back from being the person I WANT TO BE
I AM…
OMG, OMG, OMG
That’s the key 🔑 to unlocking all this 💩
I am GRIEVING, my life as I knew it has gone, how long for, I have no idea..
I want to CONNECT to who I am right now
I want to listen to my INTUITION - my internal compass 🧭
I want to LIVE in this moment
To be conscious in the AS IS
I want to focus all my energy on what’s happening RIGHT NOW as that is all I can CHANGE
I can’t change the past or the future
All I can do is work with what’s happening for ME - so my BODY, MIND and HEART - in this present moment…
I want to REST when my body and mind are tired
I want to RECONNECT my arm to my body, as due to nerve blocks and negative thoughts about my arm, I have disconnected from it…
I want to LISTEN to my body (properly tune into what it’s saying)
I want to STOP trying to fix myself and just *let it be* so I can RECOVER at its pace
And lastly I want to take ALL the pressure off me to do the *normal* stuff
This HEALING ❤️🩹 lark is by no means easy, in fact it’s one of the hardest things I have ever had to do …
BUT
I want to be KIND to myself
I want to show myself some LOVE
I will RECOVER, it’s just going to take some time and nobody can speed that up..
It’ll take as long as it takes…
And lastly…
I want to do it for ME
So if you’re struggling with your own life changing injury, I just want to say
I HEAR YOU
I SEE YOU
I VALUE YOU
If you want to connect or reach out, I am here for you but it’ll be in my time
All my love Rach x
If you like what you read then…
Watch this space over the next few weeks for new and exciting plans to support you and your teenage daughter both in person and online…there’s a lot happening behind the scenes!!
However in the meantime, check out my website at www.positivetouch.net
Vox me on Voxer (a walkie talkie app) at RachelFriedli teenwhisperer
Follow me on Instagram at teen.whisperer.nature
I’m also opening a slot in my diary for a Teen Whisperer 90mins Power Call where you can tell me what’s going on for you and your teenage daughter
Feel free to get in touch or book in a call to talk more.
I look forward to connecting with you and working with you, take care Rach x
