Following a conversation with one of my clients, about not knowing when was her daughter’s period and instead tracking her menstrual cycle, it got me thinking…

When we know what our cycles are doing, we are better able to manage our energy.

Being aware of what’s happening for our teen daughters, makes it far easier to recognise the symptoms and not put extra pressure on her..

Simple eh?

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This week I’m talking about ways that we can help ourselves, yes US.

So how does tracking our periods and our daughters help us as Mums?

I am so glad you asked..

Our menstrual cycles are closely connected to our energy cycles another little know fact that one..

Did you know that if you track your symptoms in a month, you will see there are weeks where you have more energy and are able to do things and weeks where you have zilch energy and feel literally awful?

Moon cycles are another way of tracking your energy, so the week of the full moon for example is normally the week where you have lots of energy and are on fire - the moon is big, bright and bold. It’s saying look at me, here I am!

The new moon - the dark moon is normally the week where you have no energy and are needing to rest, when you take that time for yourself.

By knowing these two plus the waxing and the waning moons either side, so the waxing moon is the one on the way to the full moon and the waning moon is the one ‘waning’ as it goes in to rest and relaxation at the new moon - makes sense when you look at it like that.

By understanding what’s happening for her and you, helps you to have the relationship you have always dreamt of because you understand when not to put more pressure on her or yourself, you understand there are weeks that you are going to feel absolutely pants and it’s ok.

It’s not because your parenting skills are spiralling downhill and its not because you are a crap parent, it’s because of the energy cycle you are in.

If you’re interested and you wanna find out more about this exact subject, there’ll be more in the community membership space, in the library of resources that is part of that community membership space that you can join. I’ve already launched it and it’s only £79 a month. Everything is in there that you will need to support yourself and your teen daughter throughout the teenage years. There will also be fortnightly online calls so one will be on one of the 4 keys of you, understanding, communication & connection.

Insight 1

Without putting your needs in first, you will never have the relationship you have always dreamt of, you’ll never get that connection or that bond, that joy back because you havent put yourself first.

By understanding what’s going on for you, then you can understand what’s going on for your teenage daughter. In those weeks around the new moon, put things in place so you don’t have to do too much. Buy prepared meals so you don’t have to think about it. Plan your meals for those weeks where you haven’t got the headspace to think. Ask for help with meals, get a takeaway or ask someone else to cook.

Explain that you’re feeling shite and that you have no energy and then your teen daughter can see Mum’s feeling crap, she’s going to think ok I’m not going to have a go at her this week, she’s told me she doesn’t feel good. That means that when I feel crap, I can tell her too and she’ll understand and it’ll take the pressure off me - it’s a win, win.

Insight 2

In those weeks where you have more energy, you can do more things and can plan activities in advance. This tends to be in the week of the full moon, you know you can see it there in the sky big and bright, note it can also cause issues with sleeping. By being aware that you want to be more visible means you can out your name forward for things, activities and that’s ok.

Be being more aware of what’s going on and what’s happening for you and your teen daughter, it makes it far more easier to manage your time and your teenage daughter.

Insight 3

On that note use an app that tracks your daughter’s period so whether you’re using an app online or you’re using a paper based version (I’ll add a link to the bottom of this blog) track all of her symptoms. You know if she’s feeling grumpy, more anxious, introverted, hiding in her room, doesn’t want to come out, wants to sleep in her bed all day, she hasn’t got the energy, she can only manage simple meals cos she’s so knackered, then help her. Make those simple meals which is in that week, make her her lunch and take away that whole responsibility that she has to have for herself.

Remember she is a teen daughter at the end of the day, she’s not an adult, she’s your daughter and it’s up to you to keep an eye on what’s going on for her. If she’s struggling, help her, don’t ask her, just do it and put the meal somewhere for her.

So you have the weeks where she might have acne, greasier skin, showering less, more moody, less likely to connect, wanting to go in on herself - those are the weeks where they are going to be her new moon weeks of her period, where she has no energy. If you use an app it will highlight when your daughter’s period is due and it can give you that pre-warning that something may be up. This means that I know that’s the build up and can watch for signs and symptoms of what she is doing and go yeh it’s her period. I don’t know about you but I can’t keep her cycles in my head, I could write it on the whiteboard in my kitchen but I don’t think she’ll take kindly to that one..

Insight 4

The more we can arm ourselves with the knowledge, then the more we can help ourselves and our teen daughter. If you’re still menstruating, then by making yourself more aware of what’s happening for you, can help you to manage your energy, helps you to manage what’s going on for you and help you to have the headspace to focus on those other things.

Ask for help with the chores around the house, doing dinners, to allow you to rest.

At the end of the day, our teen daughters mirror our behaviours and we mirror theirs, so if were feeling crap and we don’t admit to everyone else around us, then suddenly we explode, that’s what they’re going to learn. If we can show them that we can take care of ourselves, then it becomes so much more empowering for them to be able to go ‘Actually Mum does that, this is what I can do for myself. I don’t need to kick off and I don’t need to push through this. If I can make space for myself, I can rest if I need to.’

My daughter has chronic fatigue so I am always very aware of her energy cycles but with her period or any illness, knocks her for six, but the more that I am aware that this is going on for her, the more I can take away the pressures, responsibilities for her. It’s like a little drip feed of what she can do each and every day.

As I say the community membership space is open for you to come and join. It’s a fortnightly online call throughout the year; one on a topic of the 4 keys and one as an open mic for whatever is going on for you with your teenage daughter right now. The idea is to build a safe space where we are all together and on that note, the retreat for Mums of teen girls is running over the weekend of the 9th-11th June (moved from the Mother’s Day weekend), it’s a weekend for you to spend time on your own, away from your family, with other like minded Mums in a safe, calming, relaxing environment.

If you’re interested in finding out more, and want to connect, or book in for the retreat, check out my website or click on the link below.

Alternatively if you would like to work with me either on a 1:1, with your teen daughter or as part of the community membership, check out all details via my website or click on one of the links below.

Take care

Rach x

Let’s build a community of like minded Mums, imperfectly parenting together

If you would like to find out more, check out my website

Vox me on Voxer (a walkie talkie app)

I’m on Instagram at teen.whisperer.nature

I’m also opening a slot in my diary for a Teen Whisperer 90mins Power Call where you can tell me what’s happening for your teenage daughter so click the link and book in

If you would love to reconnect with your teen daughter and have the relationship you’ve always dreamt of, check out my work - all based on the Disconnection to Connection roadmap to building a deeper relationship.

Teen Whisperer Community

New Retreat for Mums

The Ripple Effect Joint Programme with your Teen Daughter

Teen Whisperer Individual Mentoring

Feel free to get in touch or book in a call to talk more.

I look forward to connecting with you and working with you, take care Rachel x