Putting our needs last…..

Now I don’t know about you, but as a Mum of a teen with chronic ill-health, I used to put myself at the bottom of the pile 🪨. When we do this time and time again, our bodies try to tell us something. Now for me, this is pain, being unable to sleep and not eating properly and it literally happens in that order every time. As soon as it starts, I now know the signs and will take some more time for me. 

It’s not always been this way though, as I never took the time for myself and just kept going and going, dreaming of a day when I could take the whole day off and literally knackering myself out in the process.

Unfortunately, when we ignore these signs time and time again, they come back to bite us in the butt. And this is the reason I’m writing this blog today….because I don’t want you to struggle unnecessarily.

Why self-help isn’t selfish

Looking after ourselves isn’t selfish as it’s when we put ourselves first, we give ourselves a lifeline ♾ so we can do the other things that we need or want to do. Our bodies are subtle and if we’re not giving ourselves that time, will give us little clues like increasing tiredness, headaches, not sleeping, eating or overeating, lots of infections, feeling low etc. It’s not normally because something else is going on, it’s simply because you don’t take the time for yourself.

Now as I say, I am aware of what my body is telling me, and can stop it before it becomes an issue but here is the thing, if we don’t listen to our bodies, they will give us more and more to think of to get us to STOP 🛑, SLOW DOWN and REST 🏖.

Having said that even I have days when I need to increase my ‘ME’ time and my body gives me all the subtle clues. If I don’t journal in the morning and the evening, meditate before brekkie, or do mindfulness, or get out in nature, or do whatever is within energy levels of that day, then I start struggling.

As said earlier for me, for me my biggest one is pain, and then the issues with not sleeping due to pain. If that wasn’t hard enough, when I’m tired, I stop feeding myself nourishing food as I just don’t have the energy to think or cook leaving me making the same old meals, over and over again. 

Simple ideas to help look after yourself, when you’re feeling overwhelmed

So what simple ideas do I have that help? 

I keep pre-cut smoothies in my freezer that provide you with everything you need to eat a nourishing breakfast without all the faff. The smoothies are delicious, they have literally got a selection of organic, seasonal fruit, vegetables, greens, seeds, and superfoods in there. All you need to do is add some kind of milk to it. 

On other days I also prepare overnight oats the night before and have even started batch cooking to make busy days, easy. 

One thing I used to do when I was feeling overwhelmed when my brain goes into overthinking mode, I would often belittle myself and say ‘Oh you can’t take a break, because this needs to be done and you are the only one who can do it’. Here’s the thing (much as your brain wants to control you), you aren’t the only one as there are plenty of people who want to help and would love it for you to ask. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help.

There are always going to be days when something goes awry and you need to take a step back. This is why you find me today blogging and chilling as I have a fairly rough voice and am feeling shattered from yet another bad night (partly due to pain and partly due to a bad mattress). Your body’s messages are its way of overriding your brain and saying, “Actually do you know what? She needs a break and to take time out.”

Taking a break and putting your needs first is a necessity not a luxury and it’s ok. There are going to be weird feelings when you first start doing this, but when you do it every day, it becomes part of your normal routine and you miss it when you have a day away. Literally taking the time to tune in to what your body is telling you is life-changing and empowering for you, as not only can you do things that you want, you can do them where and when you want to. 

Stop juggling, start living

I run a workshop called Stop Juggling, Start Living (same as the podcast) introducing you to simple self-help tools that allow you to be more connected to yourself so you feel energised to work in partnership with your teen daughter  – on regular dates throughout the year so check out my workshop page for more information.

Go on put yourself first and enjoy exploring what life has to offer you.

Take care and speak soon xxx